Title: Lysistrata
Author: Aristophanes
Illustrator: Norman Lindsay
Translator: Jack Lindsay
Release date: March 1, 2005 [eBook #7700]
                Most recently updated: November 2, 2012
Language: English
Credits: Produced by Ted Garvin, David Widger and the Distributed
        Proofreaders Team
 
 
 FOREWORD
    
Lysistrata is the greatest work by Aristophanes. This blank and rash statement is made that it may be rejected. But first let it be understood that I do not mean it is a better written work than the Birds or the Frogs, or that (to descend to the scale of values that will be naturally imputed to me) it has any more appeal to the collectors of "curious literature" than the Ecclesiazusae or the Thesmophoriazusae. On the mere grounds of taste I can see an at least equally good case made out for the Birds. That brightly plumaged fantasy has an aerial wit and colour all its own. But there are certain works in which a man finds himself at an angle of vision where there is an especially felicitous union of the aesthetic and emotional elements which constitute the basic qualities of his uniqueness. We recognize these works as being welded into a strange unity, as having a homogeneous texture of ecstasy over them that surpasses any aesthetic surface of harmonic colour, though that harmony also is understood by the deeper welling of imagery from the core of creative exaltation. And I think that this occurs in Lysistrata. The intellectual and spiritual tendrils of the poem are more truly interwoven, the operation of their centres more nearly unified; and so the work goes deeper into life. It is his greatest play because of this, because it holds an intimate perfume of femininity and gives the finest sense of the charm of a cluster of girls, the sweet sense of their chatter, and the contact of their bodies, that is to be found before Shakespeare, because that mocking gaiety we call Aristophanies reaches here its most positive acclamation of life, vitalizing sex with a deep delight, a rare happiness of the spirit.
Indeed it is precisely for these reasons that it is not considered Aristophanes' greatest play.
To take a case which is sufficiently near to the point in question, to make clear what I mean: the supremacy of Antony and Cleopatra in the Shakespearean aesthetic is yet jealously disputed, and it seems silly to the academic to put it up against a work like Hamlet. But it is the comparatively more obvious achievement of Hamlet, its surface intellectuality, which made it the favourite of actors and critics. It is much more difficult to realize the complex and delicately passionate edge of the former play's rhythm, its tides of hugely wandering emotion, the restless, proud, gay, and agonized reaction from life, of the blood, of the mind, of the heart, which is its unity, than to follow the relatively straightforward definition of Hamlet's nerves. Not that anything derogatory to Hamlet or the Birds is intended; but the value of such works is not enhanced by forcing them into contrast with other works which cover deeper and wider nexus of aesthetic and spiritual material. It is the very subtlety of the vitality of such works as Antony and Cleopatra and Lysistrata that makes it so easy to undervalue them, to see only a phallic play and political pamphlet in one, only a chronicle play in a grandiose method in the other. For we have to be in a highly sensitized condition before we can get to that subtle point where life and the image mix, and so really perceive the work at all; whereas we can command the response to a lesser work which does not call so finely on the full breadth and depth of our spiritual resources.
I amuse myself at times with the fancy that Homer, Sappho, and Aristophanes are the inviolable Trinity of poetry, even to the extent of being reducible to One. For the fiery and lucid directness of Sappho, if her note of personal lyricism is abstracted, is seen to be an element of Homer, as is the profoundly balanced humour of Aristophanes, at once tenderly human and cruelly hard, as of a god to whom all sympathies and tolerances are known, but who is invulnerable somewhere, who sees from a point in space where the pressure of earth's fear and pain, and so its pity, is lifted. It is here that the Shakespearean and Homeric worlds impinge and merge, not to be separated by any academic classifications. They meet in this sensitivity equally involved and aloof, sympathetic and arrogant, suffering and joyous; and in this relation we see Aristophanes as the forerunner of Shakespeare, his only one. We see also that the whole present aesthetic of earth is based in Homer. We live and grow in the world of consciousness bequeathed to us by him; and if we grow beyond it through deeper Shakespearean ardours, it is because those beyond are rooted in the broad basis of the Homeric imagination. To shift that basis is to find the marshes of primitive night and fear alone beneath the feet: Christianity.
And here we return to the question of the immorality of Lysistrata. First we may inquire: is it possible for a man whose work has so tremendous a significance in the spiritual development of mankind--and I do not think anyone nowadays doubts that a work of art is the sole stabilizing force that exists for life--is it possible for a man who stands so grandly at head of an immense stream of liberating effort to write an immoral work? Surely the only enduring moral virtue which can be claimed is for that which moves to more power, beauty and delight in the future? The plea that the question of changing customs arises is not valid, for customs ratified by Aristophanes, by Rabelais, by Shakespeare, have no right to change. If they have changed, let us try immediately to return from our disgraceful refinements to the nobler and more rarefied heights of lyric laughter, tragic intensity, and wit, for we cannot have the first two without the last. And anyhow, how can a social custom claim precedence over the undying material of the senses and the emotions of man, over the very generating forces of life?
How could the humanistic emotions, such as pity, justice, sympathy, exist save as pacifistic quietings of the desire to slay, to hurt, to torment. Where the desire to hurt is gone pity ceases to be a significant, a central emotion. It must of course continue to exist, but it is displaced in the spiritual hierarchy; and all that moves courageously, desirously, and vitally into the action of life takes on a deeper and subtler intention. Lust, then, which on the lower plane was something to be very frightened of, becomes a symbol of the highest spirituality. It is right for Paul to be terrified of sex and so to hate it, because he has so freshly escaped a bestial condition of life that it threatens to plunge him back if he listens to one whisper But it is also right for a Shakespeare to suck every drop of desire from life, for he is building into a higher condition, one self-willed, self- responsible, the discipline of which comes from joy, not fear.
Sex, therefore, is an animal function, one admits, one insists; it may be only that. But also in the bewildering and humorous and tragic duality of all life's energies, it is the bridge to every eternity which is not merely a spectral condition of earth disembowelled of its lusts. For sex holds the substance of the image. But we must remember with Heine that Aristophanes is the God of this ironic earth, and that all argument is apparently vitiated from the start by the simple fact that Wagner and a rooster are given an analogous method of making love. And therefore it seems impeccable logic to say that all that is most unlike the rooster is the most spiritual part of love. All will agree on that, schisms only arise when one tries to decide what does go farthest from the bird's automatic mechanism. Certainly not a Dante-Beatrice affair which is only the negation of the rooster in terms of the swooning bombast of adolescence, the first onslaught of a force which the sufferer cannot control or inhabit with all the potentialities of his body and soul. But the rooster is troubled by no dreams of a divine orgy, no carnival-loves like Beethoven's Fourth Symphony, no heroic and shining lust gathering and swinging into a merry embrace like the third act of Siegfried. It is desire in this sense that goes farthest from the animal.
Consciously, no one can achieve the act of love on earth as a completed thing of grace, with whatever delirium of delight, with whatever ingenious preciosity, we go through its process. Only as an image of beauty mated in some strange hermaphroditic ecstasy is that possible. I mean only as a dream projected into a hypothetical, a real heaven. But on earth we cannot complete the cycle in consciousness that would give us the freedom of an image in which two identities mysteriously realize their separate unities by the absorption of a third thing, the constructive rhythm of a work of art. It is thus that Tristan and Isolde become wholly distinct individuals, yet wholly submerged in the unity that is Wagner; and so reconcile life's duality by balancing its opposing laughters in a definite form--thereby sending out into life a profounder duality than existed before. A Platonic equipoise, Nietzsche's Eternal Recurrence--the only real philosophic problem, therefore one of which these two philosophers alone are aware.
But though Wagner with Mathilde Wesendonck in his arms was Tristan in the arms of Isolde, he did not find a melody instead of a kiss on his lips; he did not find a progression of harmonies melting through the contours of a warm beauty with a blur of desperate ecstasies, semitones of desire, he found only the anxious happiness of any other lover. Nevertheless, he was gathering the substance of the second act of Tristan und Isolde. And it is this that Plato means when he says that fornication is something immortal in mortality. He does not mean that the act itself is a godlike thing, a claim which any bedroom mirror would quickly deride. He means that it is a symbol, an essential condition, and a part of something that goes deeper into life than any geometry of earth's absurd, passionate, futile, and very necessary antics would suggest.
It is a universal fallacy that because works like the comedies of Aristophanes discuss certain social or ethical problems, they are inspired by them. Aristophanes wrote to express his vision on life, his delight in life itself seen behind the warping screen of contemporary event; and for his purposes anything from Euripides to Cleon served as ground work. Not that he would think in those terms, naturally: but the rationalizing process that goes on in consciousness during the creation of a work of art, for all its appearance of directing matters, is the merest weathercock in the wind of the subconscious intention. As an example of how utterly it is possible to misunderstand the springs of inspiration in a poem, we may take the following remark of B. B. Rogers: It is much to be regretted that the phallus element should be so conspicuous in this play.... (This) coarseness, so repulsive to ourselves, was introduced, it is impossible to doubt, for the express purpose of counter-balancing the extreme earnestness and gravity of the play. It seems so logical, so irrefutable; and so completely misinterprets every creative force of Aristophanes' Psyche that it certainly deserves a little admiration. It is in the best academic tradition, and everyone respects a man for writing so mendaciously. The effort of these castrators is always to show that the parts considered offensive are not the natural expression of the poet, that they are dictated externally. They argue that Shakespeare's coarseness is the result of the age and not personal predilection, completely ignoring the work of men like Sir Philip Sidney and Spenser, indeed practically all the pre-Shakespearean writers, in whom none of this so-called grossness exists. Shakespeare wrote sculduddery because he liked it, and for no other reason; his sensuality is the measure of his vitality. These liars pretend similarly that because Rabelais had a humanistic reason for much of his work--the destructior Mediaevalism, and the Church, which purpose they construe of course as an effort to purify, etc.--therefore he only put the lewdery to make the rest palatable, when it should be obvious even to an academic how he glories in his wild humour.
What the academic cannot understand is that in such works, while attacking certain conditions, the creative power of the vigorous spirits is so great that it overflows and saturates the intellectual conception with their own passionate sense of life. It is for this reason that these works have an eternal significance. If Rabelais were merely a social reformer, then the value of his work would not have outlived his generation. If Lysistrata were but a wise political tract, it would have merely an historical interest, and it would have ceased spiritually at 404 B.C.
But Panurge is as fantastic and fascinating a character now as he was 300 years ago, Lysistrata and her girls as freshly bodied as any girl kissed to-day. Therefore the serious part of the play is that which deals with them, the frivolous part that in which Rogers detects gravity and earnestness.
Aristophanes is the lord of all who take life as a gay adventure, who defy all efforts to turn life into a social, economic, or moral abstraction. Is it therefore just that the critics who, by some dark instinct, unerringly pick out the exact opposite of any creator's real virtues as his chief characteristics, should praise him as an idealistic reformer? An "ideal" state of society was the last thing Aristophanes desired. He wished, certainly, to eliminate inhumanities and baseness; but only that there might be free play for laughter, for individual happiness.
Consequently the critics lay the emphasis on the effort to cleanse society, not the method of laughter. Aristophanes wished to destroy Cleon because that demagogue failed to realize the poet's conception of dignified government and tended to upset the stability of Hellas. But it was the stability of life, the vindication of all individual freedoms, in which he was ultimately interested.
JACK LINDSAY.
 
 
 
 
| LYSISTRATA CALONICE MYRRHINE LAMPITO Stratyllis, etc. Chorus of Women. MAGISTRATE CINESIAS SPARTAN HERALD ENVOYS ATHENIANS Porter, Market Idlers, etc. Chorus of old Men. | 
 
 
LYSISTRATA stands alone with the Propylaea at her back.
LYSISTRATA
      If they were trysting for a Bacchanal,
 A feast of Pan or Colias or
      Genetyllis,
 The tambourines would block the rowdy streets,
 But
      now there's not a woman to be seen
 Except--ah, yes--this neighbour of
      mine yonder.
    
Enter CALONICE.
Good day Calonice.
CALONICE
      Good day Lysistrata.
 But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child.
      What are these black looks for? It doesn't suit you
 To knit your
      eyebrows up glumly like that.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Calonice, it's more than I can bear,
 I am hot all over with blushes
      for our sex.
 Men say we're slippery rogues--
    
CALONICE
And aren't they right?
LYSISTRATA
      Yet summoned on the most tremendous business
 For deliberation, still
      they snuggle in bed.
    
CALONICE
      My dear, they'll come. It's hard for women, you know,
 To get away.
      There's so much to do;
 Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers:
      Servants to be poked out: children washed
 Or soothed with lullays or
      fed with mouthfuls of pap.
    
LYSISTRATA
But I tell you, here's a far more weighty object.
CALONICE
      What is it all about, dear Lysistrata,
 That you've called the women
      hither in a troop?
 What kind of an object is it?
    
LYSISTRATA
A tremendous thing!
CALONICE
And long?
LYSISTRATA
Indeed, it may be very lengthy.
CALONICE
Then why aren't they here?
LYSISTRATA
      No man's connected with it;
 If that was the case, they'd soon come
      fluttering along.
 No, no. It concerns an object I've felt over
      And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.
    
CALONICE
It must be fine to stand such long attention.
LYSISTRATA
So fine it comes to this--Greece saved by Woman!
CALONICE
By Woman? Wretched thing, I'm sorry for it.
LYSISTRATA
      Our country's fate is henceforth in our hands:
 To destroy the
      Peloponnesians root and branch--
    
CALONICE
What could be nobler!
LYSISTRATA
Wipe out the Boeotians--
CALONICE
      Not utterly. Have mercy on the eels!
 [Footnote: The Boeotian eels
      were highly esteemed delicacies in Athens.]
    
LYSISTRATA
      But with regard to Athens, note I'm careful
 Not to say any of these
      nasty things;
 Still, thought is free.... But if the women join us
      From Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then
 Hand in hand we'll rescue Greece.
    
CALONICE
      How could we do
 Such a big wise deed? We women who dwell
 Quietly
      adorning ourselves in a back-room
 With gowns of lucid gold and gawdy
      toilets
 Of stately silk and dainty little slippers....
    
LYSISTRATA
      These are the very armaments of the rescue.
 These crocus-gowns, this
      outlay of the best myrrh,
 Slippers, cosmetics dusting beauty, and
      robes
 With rippling creases of light.
    
CALONICE
Yes, but how?
LYSISTRATA
No man will lift a lance against another--
CALONICE
I'll run to have my tunic dyed crocus.
LYSISTRATA
Or take a shield--
CALONICE
I'll get a stately gown.
LYSISTRATA
Or unscabbard a sword--
CALONICE
Let me buy a pair of slipper.
LYSISTRATA
Now, tell me, are the women right to lag?
CALONICE
      They should have turned birds, they should have grown
 wings and
      flown.
    
LYSISTRATA
      My friend, you'll see that they are true Athenians:
 Always too late.
      Why, there's not a woman
 From the shoreward demes arrived, not one
      from Salamis.
    
CALONICE
      I know for certain they awoke at dawn,
 And got their husbands up if
      not their boat sails.
    
LYSISTRATA
      And I'd have staked my life the Acharnian dames
 Would be here first,
      yet they haven't come either!
    
CALONICE
      Well anyhow there is Theagenes' wife
 We can expect--she consulted
      Hecate.
 But look, here are some at last, and more behind them.
      See ... where are they from?
    
CALONICE
From Anagyra they come.
LYSISTRATA
Yes, they generally manage to come first.
Enter MYRRHINE.
MYRRHINE
      Are we late, Lysistrata? ... What is that?
 Nothing to say?
    
LYSISTRATA
      I've not much to say for you,
 Myrrhine, dawdling on so vast an
      affair.
    
MYRRHINE
      I couldn't find my girdle in the dark.
 But if the affair's so
      wonderful, tell us, what is it?
    
LYSISTRATA
      No, let us stay a little longer till
 The Peloponnesian girls and the
      girls of Bocotia
 Are here to listen.
    
MYRRHINE
      That's the best advice.
 Ah, there comes Lampito.
    
Enter LAMPITO.
LYSISTRATA
      Welcome Lampito!
 Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face,
      Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look
 In the easy stride of
      your sleek slenderness,
 Why you could strangle a bull!
    
LAMPITO
      I think I could.
 It's frae exercise and kicking high behint.
    
      [Footnote: The translator has put the speech of the Spartan characters
      in Scotch dialect which is related to English about as was the Spartan
      dialect to the speech of Athens. The Spartans, in their character,
      anticipated the shrewd, canny, uncouth Scotch highlander of modern
      times.]
    
LYSISTRATA
What lovely breasts to own!
LAMPITO
      Oo ... your fingers
 Assess them, ye tickler, wi' such tender chucks
      I feel as if I were an altar-victim.
    
LYSISTRATA
Who is this youngster?
LAMPITO
A Boeotian lady.
LYSISTRATA
      There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia,
 Such a smooth place, and
      this girl takes after it.
    
CALONICE
Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept.
LYSISTRATA
This girl?
LAMPITO
      A sonsie open-looking jinker!
 She's a Corinthian.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Yes, isn't she
 Very open, in some ways particularly.
    
LAMPITO
But who's garred this Council o' Women to meet here?
LYSISTRATA
I have.
LAMPITO
Propound then what you want o' us.
MYRRHINE
What is the amazing news you have to tell?
LYSISTRATA
I'll tell you, but first answer one small question.
MYRRHINE
As you like.
LYSISTRATA
      Are you not sad your children's fathers
 Go endlessly off soldiering
      afar
 In this plodding war? I am willing to wager
 There's not one
      here whose husband is at home.
    
CALONICE
      Mine's been in Thrace, keeping an eye on Eucrates
 For five months
      past.
    
MYRRHINE
      And mine left me for Pylos
 Seven months ago at least.
    
LAMPITO
      And as for mine
 No sooner has he slipped out frae the line
 He
      straps his shield and he's snickt off again.
    
LYSISTRATA
      And not the slightest glitter of a lover!
 And since the Milesians
      betrayed us, I've not seen
 The image of a single upright man
 To
      be a marble consolation to us.
 Now will you help me, if I find a
      means
 To stamp the war out.
    
MYRRHINE
      By the two Goddesses, Yes!
 I will though I've to pawn this very dress
      And drink the barter-money the same day.
    
CALONICE
      And I too though I'm split up like a turbot
 And half is hackt off as
      the price of peace.
    
LAMPITO
      And I too! Why, to get a peep at the shy thing
 I'd clamber up to the
      tip-top o' Taygetus.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Then I'll expose my mighty mystery.
 O women, if we would compel the
      men
 To bow to Peace, we must refrain--
    
MYRRHINE
      From what?
 O tell us!
    
LYSISTRATA
Will you truly do it then?
MYRRHINE
We will, we will, if we must die for it.
LYSISTRATA
      We must refrain from every depth of love....
 Why do you turn your
      backs? Where are you going?
 Why do you bite your lips and shake your
      heads?
 Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep?
 Will you or
      won't you, or what do you mean?
    
MYRRHINE
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
CALONICE
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
LYSISTRATA
      You too, dear turbot, you that said just now
 You didn't mind being
      split right up in the least?
    
CALONICE
      Anything else? O bid me walk in fire
 But do not rob us of that
      darling joy.
 What else is like it, dearest Lysistrata?
    
LYSISTRATA
And you?
MYRRHINE
O please give me the fire instead.
LYSISTRATA
      Lewd to the least drop in the tiniest vein,
 Our sex is fitly food for
      Tragic Poets,
 Our whole life's but a pile of kisses and babies.
      But, hardy Spartan, if you join with me
 All may be righted yet. O
      help me, help me.
    
LAMPITO
      It's a sair, sair thing to ask of us, by the Twa,
 A lass to sleep her
      lane and never fill
 Love's lack except wi' makeshifts.... But let it
      be.
 Peace maun be thought of first.
    
LYSISTRATA
      My friend, my friend!
 The only one amid this herd of weaklings.
    
CALONICE
      But if--which heaven forbid--we should refrain
 As you would have us,
      how is Peace induced?
    
LYSISTRATA
      By the two Goddesses, now can't you see
 All we have to do is idly sit
      indoors
 With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,
 Our bodies
      burning naked through the folds
 Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet
      the men
 With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.
 Their
      stirring love will rise up furiously,
 They'll beg our arms to open.
      That's our time!
 We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off--
      And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.
 I'm sure of it.
    
 
 
LAMPITO
                Just as
      Menelaus, they say,
 Seeing the bosom of his naked Helen
 Flang
      down the sword.
    
CALONICE
                     But
      we'll be tearful fools
 If our husbands take us at our word and leave
      us.
    
LYSISTRATA
      There's only left then, in Pherecrates' phrase,
 To flay a skinned
      dog--flay more our flayed desires.
    
CALONICE
      Bah, proverbs will never warm a celibate.
 But what avail will your
      scheme be if the men
 Drag us for all our kicking on to the couch?
    
LYSISTRATA
Cling to the doorposts.
CALONICE
But if they should force us?
LYSISTRATA
      Yield then, but with a sluggish, cold indifference.
 There is no joy
      to them in sullen mating.
 Besides we have other ways to madden them;
      They cannot stand up long, and they've no delight
 Unless we fit their
      aim with merry succour.
    
CALONICE
Well if you must have it so, we'll all agree.
LAMPITO
      For us I ha' no doubt. We can persuade
 Our men to strike a fair an'
      decent Peace,
 But how will ye pitch out the battle-frenzy
 O' the
      Athenian populace?
    
LYSISTRATA
      I promise you
 We'll wither up that curse.
    
LAMPITO
      I don't believe it.
 Not while they own ane trireme oared an' rigged,
      Or a' those stacks an' stacks an' stacks O' siller.
    
LYSISTRATA
      I've thought the whole thing out till there's no flaw.
 We shall
      surprise the Acropolis today:
 That is the duty set the older dames.
      While we sit here talking, they are to go
 And under pretence of
      sacrificing, seize it.
    
LAMPITO
Certie, that's fine; all's working for the best.
LYSISTRATA
      Now quickly, Lampito, let us tie ourselves
 To this high purpose as
      tightly as the hemp of words
 Can knot together.
    
LAMPITO
      Set out the terms in detail
 And we'll a' swear to them.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Of course.... Well then
 Where is our Scythianess? Why are you
      staring?
 First lay the shield, boss downward, on the floor
 And
      bring the victim's inwards.
    
CAILONICE
      But, Lysistrata,
 What is this oath that we're to swear?
    
LYSISTRATA
      What oath!
 In Aeschylus they take a slaughtered sheep
 And swear
      upon a buckler. Why not we?
    
CALONICE
O Lysistrata, Peace sworn on a buckler!
LYSISTRATA
What oath would suit us then?
CALONICE
      Something burden bearing
 Would be our best insignia.... A white
      horse!
 Let's swear upon its entrails.
    
LYSISTRATA
A horse indeed!
CALONICE
Then what will symbolise us?
LYSISTRATA
      This, as I tell you--
 First set a great dark bowl upon the ground
      And disembowel a skin of Thasian wine,
 Then swear that we'll not add
      a drop of water.
    
      LAMPITO
   Ah, what aith could clink pleasanter than that!
    
      LYSISTRATA
   Bring me a bowl then and a skin of wine.
    
      CALONICE
   My dears, see what a splendid bowl it is;
        I'd not say No if asked to sip it off.
    
      LYSISTRATA
   Put down the bowl. Lay hands, all, on the
      victim.
   Skiey Queen who givest the last word in
      arguments,
   And thee, O Bowl, dear comrade, we beseech:
        Accept our oblation and be propitious to us.
    
      CALONICE
   What healthy blood, la, how it gushes out!
    
      LAMPITO
   An' what a leesome fragrance through the air.
    
      LYSISTRATA
   Now, dears, if you will let me, I'll speak
      first.
    
      CALONICE
   Only if you draw the lot, by Aphrodite!
    
      LYSISTRATA
   SO, grasp the brim, you, Lampito, and all.
        You, Calonice, repeat for the rest
   Each word
      I say. Then you must all take oath
   And pledge your arms
      to the same stern conditions--
    
      LYSISTRATA
   To husband or lover I'll not open arms
    
CALONICE
To husband or lover I'll not open arms
LYSISTRATA
Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
CALONICE
Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
 O, O, my knees
      are failing me, Lysistrata!
    
LYSISTRATA
But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,
CALONICE
But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,
LYSISTRATA
Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.
CALONICE
Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.
LYSISTRATA
If then he seizes me by dint of force,
CALONICE
If then he seizes me by dint of force,
LYSISTRATA
I'll give him reason for a long remorse.
CALONICE
I'll give him reason for a long remorse.
LYSISTRATA
I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,
CALONICE
I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,
LYSISTRATA
Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.
CALONICE
Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.
LYSISTRATA
If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.
CALONICE
If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.
LYSISTRATA
If not, to nauseous water change this wine.
      CALONICE
   If not, to nauseous water change this wine.
LYSISTRATA
Do you all swear to this?
MYRRHINE
We do, we do.
LYSISTRATA
      Then I shall immolate the victim thus.
 She drinks.
CALONICE
      Here now, share fair, haven't we made a pact?
 Let's all quaff down
      that friendship in our turn.
    
LAMPITO
Hark, what caterwauling hubbub's that?
LYSISTRATA
      As I told you,
 The women have appropriated the citadel.
 So,
      Lampito, dash off to your own land
 And raise the rebels there. These
      will serve as hostages,
 While we ourselves take our places in the
      ranks
 And drive the bolts right home.
    
 
 
CALONICE
      But won't the men
 March straight against us?
    
LYSISTRATA
      And what if they do?
 No threat shall creak our hinges wide, no torch
      Shall light a fear in us; we will come out
 To Peace alone.
    
CALONICE
      That's it, by Aphrodite!
 As of old let us seem hard and obdurate.
    
LAMPITO and some go off; the others go up into the Acropolis.
 
Chorus of OLD MEN enter to attack the captured Acropolis.
      Make room, Draces, move ahead; why your shoulder's chafed, I see,
      With lugging uphill these lopped branches of the olive-tree.
 How
      upside-down and wrong-way-round a long life sees things grow.
 Ah,
      Strymodorus, who'd have thought affairs could tangle so?
    
      The women whom at home we fed,
 Like witless fools, with fostering
      bread,
 Have impiously come to this--
 They've stolen the
      Acropolis,
 With bolts and bars our orders flout
 And shut us out.
    
      Come, Philurgus, bustle thither; lay our faggots on the ground,
 In
      neat stacks beleaguering the insurgents all around;
 And the vile
      conspiratresses, plotters of such mischief dire,
 Pile and burn them
      all together in one vast and righteous pyre:
 Fling with our own hands
      Lycon's wife to fry in the thickest fire.
 By Demeter, they'll get no
      brag while I've a vein to beat!
 Cleomenes himself was hurtled out in
      sore defeat.
 His stiff-backed Spartan pride was bent.
 Out,
      stripped of all his arms, he went:
 A pigmy cloak that would not
      stretch
 To hide his rump (the draggled wretch),
 Six sprouting
      years of beard, the spilth
 Of six years' filth.
    
      That was a siege! Our men were ranged in lines of seventeen deep
      Before the gates, and never left their posts there, even to sleep.
      Shall I not smite the rash presumption then of foes like these,
      Detested both of all the gods and of Euripides--
 Else, may the
      Marathon-plain not boast my trophied victories!
    
      Ah, now, there's but a little space
 To reach the place!
 A deadly
      climb it is, a tricky road
 With all this bumping load:
 A
      pack-ass soon would tire....
 How these logs bruise my shoulders!
      further still
 Jog up the hill,
 And puff the fire inside,
 Or
      just as we reach the top we'll find it's died.
 Ough, phew!
 I
      choke with the smoke.
    
      Lord Heracles, how acrid-hot
 Out of the pot
 This mad-dog smoke
      leaps, worrying me
 And biting angrily....
 'Tis Lemnian fire that
      smokes,
 Or else it would not sting my eyelids thus....
 Haste,
      all of us;
 Athene invokes our aid.
 Laches, now or never the
      assault must be made!
 Ough, phew!
 I choke with the smoke. ..
    
      Thanked be the gods! The fire peeps up and crackles as it should.
 Now
      why not first slide off our backs these weary loads of wood
 And dip a
      vine-branch in the brazier till it glows, then straight
 Hurl it at
      the battering-ram against the stubborn gate?
 If they refuse to draw
      the bolts in immediate compliance,
 We'll set fire to the wood, and
      smoke will strangle their defiance.
    
      Phew, what a spluttering drench of smoke! Come, now from off my back....
      Is there no Samos-general to help me to unpack?
 Ah there, that's
      over! For the last time now it's galled my shoulder.
 Flare up thine
      embers, brazier, and dutifully smoulder,
 To kindle a brand, that I
      the first may strike the citadel.
 Aid me, Lady Victory, that a
      triumph-trophy may tell
 How we did anciently this insane audacity
      quell!
    
Chorus of WOMEN.
      What's that rising yonder? That ruddy glare, that smoky skurry?
 O is
      it something in a blaze? Quick, quick, my comrades, hurry!
 Nicodice,
      helter-skelter!
 Or poor Calyce's in flames
 And Cratylla's
      stifled in the welter.
 O these dreadful old men
 And their dark
      laws of hate!
 There, I'm all of a tremble lest I turn out to be too
      late.
 I could scarcely get near to the spring though I rose before
      dawn,
 What with tattling of tongues and rattling of pitchers in one
      jostling din
 With slaves pushing in!....
    
      Still here at last the water's drawn
 And with it eagerly I run
      To help those of my friends who stand
 In danger of being burned
      alive.
 For I am told a dribbling band
 Of greybeards hobble to
      the field,
 Great faggots in each palsied hand,
 As if a hot bath
      to prepare,
 And threatening that out they'll drive
 These wicked
      women or soon leave them charring into ashes
 there.
 O Goddess,
      suffer not, I pray, this harsh deed to be done,
 But show us Greece
      and Athens with their warlike acts repealed!
 For this alone, in this
      thy hold,
 Thou Goddess with the helm of gold,
 We laid hands on
      thy sanctuary,
 Athene.... Then our ally be
 And where they cast
      their fires of slaughter
 Direct our water!
    
STRATYLLIS (caught)
Let me go!
WOMEN
      You villainous old men, what's this you do?
 No honest man, no pious
      man, could do such things as you.
    
MEN
      Ah ha, here's something most original, I have no doubt:
 A swarm of
      women sentinels to man the walls without.
    
WOMEN
      So then we scare you, do we? Do we seem a fearful host?
 You only see
      the smallest fraction mustered at this post.
    
MEN
      Ho, Phaedrias, shall we put a stop to all these chattering tricks?
      Suppose that now upon their backs we splintered these our sticks?
    
WOMEN
      Let us lay down the pitchers, so our bodies will be free,
   In
      case these lumping fellows try to cause some injury.
    
MEN
      O hit them hard and hit again and hit until they run away,
 And
      perhaps they'll learn, like Bupalus, not to have too much to say.
    
WOMEN
      Come on, then--do it! I won't budge, but like a dog I'll bite
 At
      every little scrap of meat that dangles in my sight.
    
MEN
Be quiet, or I'll bash you out of any years to come.
WOMEN
Now you just touch Stratyllis with the top-joint of your thumb.
MEN
What vengeance can you take if with my fists your face I beat?
WOMEN
I'll rip you with my teeth and strew your entrails at your feet.
MEN
      Now I appreciate Euripides' strange subtlety:
 Woman is the most
      shameless beast of all the beasts that be.
    
WOMEN
Rhodippe, come, and let's pick up our water-jars once more.
MEN
Ah cursed drab, what have you brought this water for?
WOMEN
What is your fire for then, you smelly corpse? Yourself to burn?
MEN
To build a pyre and make your comrades ready for the urn.
WOMEN
And I've the water to put out your fire immediately.
MEN
What, you put out my fire?
WOMEN
Yes, sirrah, as you soon will see.
MEN
I don't know why I hesitate to roast you with this flame.
WOMEN
If you have any soap you'll go off cleaner than you came.
MEN
Cleaner, you dirty slut?
WOMEN
A nuptial-bath in which to lie!
MEN
Did you hear that insolence?
WOMEN
I'm a free woman, I.
MEN
I'll make you hold your tongue.
 
 
WOMEN
Henceforth you'll serve in no more juries.
MEN
Burn off her hair for her.
WOMEN
Now forward, water, quench their furies!
MEN
O dear, O dear!
WOMEN
So ... was it hot?
MEN
Hot! ... Enough, O hold.
WOMEN
Watered, perhaps you'll bloom again--why not?
MEN
Brrr, I'm wrinkled up from shivering with cold.
WOMEN
Next time you've fire you'll warm yourself and leave us to our lot.
 
 
MAGISTRATE enters with attendant SCYTHIANS.
MAGISTRATE
      Have the luxurious rites of the women glittered
 Their libertine show,
      their drumming tapped out crowds,
 The Sabazian Mysteries summoned
      their mob,
 Adonis been wept to death on the terraces,
 As I could
      hear the last day in the Assembly?
 For Demostratus--let bad luck
      befoul him--
 Was roaring, "We must sail for Sicily,"
 While a
      woman, throwing herself about in a dance
 Lopsided with drink, was
      shrilling out "Adonis,
 Woe for Adonis." Then Demostratus shouted,
      "We must levy hoplites at Zacynthus,"
 And there the woman, up to the
      ears in wine,
 Was screaming "Weep for Adonis" on the house-top,
      The scoundrelly politician, that lunatic ox,
 Bellowing bad advice
      through tipsy shrieks:
 Such are the follies wantoning in them.
    
MEN
      O if you knew their full effrontery!
 All of the insults they've done,
      besides sousing us
 With water from their pots to our public disgrace
      For we stand here wringing our clothes like grown-up infants.
    
MAGISTRATE
      By Poseidon, justly done! For in part with us
 The blame must lie for
      dissolute behaviour
 And for the pampered appetites they learn.
      Thus grows the seedling lust to blossoming:
 We go into a shop and
      say, "Here, goldsmith,
 You remember the necklace that you wrought my
      wife;
 Well, the other night in fervour of a dance
 Her clasp
      broke open. Now I'm off for Salamis;
 If you've the leisure, would you
      go tonight
 And stick a bolt-pin into her opened clasp."
 Another
      goes to a cobbler; a soldierly fellow,
 Always standing up erect, and
      says to him,
 "Cobbler, a sandal-strap of my wife's pinches her,
      Hurts her little toe in a place where she's sensitive.
 Come at noon
      and see if you can stretch out wider
 This thing that troubles her,
      loosen its tightness."
 And so you view the result. Observe my case--
      I, a magistrate, come here to draw
 Money to buy oar-blades, and what
      happens?
 The women slam the door full in my face.
 But standing
      still's no use. Bring me a crowbar,
 And I'll chastise this their
      impertinence.
 What do you gape at, wretch, with dazzled eyes?
      Peering for a tavern, I suppose.
 Come, force the gates with crowbars,
      prise them apart!
 I'll prise away myself too.... (LYSISTRATA appears.)
    
LYSISTRATA
      Stop this banging.
 I'm coming of my own accord.... Why bars?
 It
      is not bars we need but common sense.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Indeed, you slut! Where is the archer now?
 Arrest this woman, tie her
      hands behind.
    
LYSISTRATA
      If he brushes me with a finger, by Artemis,
 The public menial, he'll
      be sorry for it.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Are you afraid? Grab her about the middle.
 Two of you then, lay hands
      on her and end it.
    
CALONICE
      By Pandrosos I if your hand touches her
 I'll spread you out and
      trample on your guts.
    
MAGISTRATE
      My guts! Where is the other archer gone?
 Bind that minx there who
      talks so prettily.
    
MYRRHINE
      By Phosphor, if your hand moves out her way
 You'd better have a
      surgeon somewhere handy.
    
MAGISTRATE
      You too! Where is that archer? Take that woman.
 I'll put a stop to
      these surprise-parties.
    
STRATYLLIS
      By the Tauric Artemis, one inch nearer
 My fingers, and it's a bald
      man that'll be yelling.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Tut tut, what's here? Deserted by my archers....
 But surely women
      never can defeat us;
 Close up your ranks, my Scythians. Forward at
      them.
    
 
 
LYSISTRATA
      By the Goddesses, you'll find that here await you
 Four companies of
      most pugnacious women
 Armed cap-a-pie from the topmost louring curl
      To the lowest angry dimple.
    
MAGISTRATE
On, Scythians, bind them.
LYSISTRATA
      On, gallant allies of our high design,
 Vendors of
      grain-eggs-pulse-and-vegetables,
 Ye garlic-tavern-keepers of
      bakeries,
 Strike, batter, knock, hit, slap, and scratch our foes,
      Be finely imprudent, say what you think of them....
 Enough! retire
      and do not rob the dead.
    
MAGISTRATE
How basely did my archer-force come off.
LYSISTRATA
      Ah, ha, you thought it was a herd of slaves
 You had to tackle, and
      you didn't guess
 The thirst for glory ardent in our blood.
    
MAGISTRATE
      By Apollo, I know well the thirst that heats you--
 Especially when a
      wine-skin's close.
    
MEN
      You waste your breath, dear magistrate, I fear, in answering back.
      What's the good of argument with such a rampageous pack?
 Remember how
      they washed us down (these very clothes I wore)
 With water that
      looked nasty and that smelt so even more.
    
WOMEN
      What else to do, since you advanced too dangerously nigh.
 If you
      should do the same again, I'll punch you in the eye.
 Though I'm a
      stay-at-home and most a quiet life enjoy,
 Polite to all and every
      (for I'm naturally coy),
 Still if you wake a wasps' nest then of
      wasps you must beware.
    
MEN
      How may this ferocity be tamed? It grows too great to bear.
 Let us
      question them and find if they'll perchance declare
 The reason why
      they strangely dare
 To seize on Cranaos' citadel,
 This eyrie
      inaccessible,
 This shrine above the precipice,
 The Acropolis.
      Probe them and find what they mean with this idle talk; listen,
 but
      watch they don't try to deceive.
 You'd be neglecting your duty most
      certainly if now this mystery
 unplumbed you leave.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Women there! Tell what I ask you, directly....
 Come, without
      rambling, I wish you to state
 What's your rebellious intention in
      barring up thus on our noses
 our own temple-gate.
    
LYSISTRATA
      To take first the treasury out of your management, and so stop the war
      through the absence of gold.
    
MAGISTRATE
Is gold then the cause of the war?
LYSISTRATA
      Yes, gold caused it and miseries more, too many to be told.
 'Twas for
      money, and money alone, that Pisander with all of the army of
      mob-agitators.
 Raised up revolutions. But, as for the future, it
      won't be worth while
 to set up to be traitors.
 Not an obol
      they'll get as their loot, not an obol! while we have the
      treasure-chest in our command.
    
MAGISTRATE
What then is that you propose?
LYSISTRATA
Just this--merely to take the exchequer henceforth in hand.
MAGISTRATE
The exchequer!
LYSISTRATA
      Yes, why not? Of our capabilities you have had various clear evidences.
      Firstly remember we have always administered soundly the budget of all
      home-expenses.
    
MAGISTRATE
But this matter's different.
LYSISTRATA
How is it different?
MAGISTRATE
Why, it deals chiefly with war-time supplies.
LYSISTRATA
But we abolish war straight by our policy.
MAGISTRATE
What will you do if emergencies arise?
LYSISTRATA
Face them our own way.
MAGISTRATE
What you will?
LYSISTRATA
Yes we will!
MAGISTRATE
Then there's no help for it; we're all destroyed.
LYSISTRATA
No, willy-nilly you must be safeguarded.
MAGISTRATE
What madness is this?
LYSISTRATA
      Why, it seems you're annoyed.
 It must be done, that's all.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Such awful oppression never,
 O never in the past yet I bore.
    
LYSISTRATA
You must be saved, sirrah--that's all there is to it.
MAGISTRATE
If we don't want to be saved?
LYSISTRATA
All the more.
MAGISTRATE
      Why do you women come prying and meddling in matters of state touching
      war-time and peace?
    
LYSISTRATA
That I will tell you.
MAGISTRATE
O tell me or quickly I'll--
LYSISTRATA
Hearken awhile and from threatening cease.
MAGISTRATE
I cannot, I cannot; it's growing too insolent.
WOMEN
Come on; you've far more than we have to dread.
MAGISTRATE
      Stop from your croaking, old carrion-crow there....
 Continue.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Be calm then and I'll go ahead.
 All the long years when the hopeless
      war dragged along we, unassuming,
 forgotten in quiet,
 Endured
      without question, endured in our loneliness all your incessant
      child's antics and riot.
 Our lips we kept tied, though aching with
      silence, though well all the
 while in our silence we knew
 How
      wretchedly everything still was progressing by listening dumbly the
      day long to you.
 For always at home you continued discussing the war
      and its politics
 loudly, and we
 Sometimes would ask you, our
      hearts deep with sorrowing though we spoke
 lightly, though happy to
      see,
 "What's to be inscribed on the side of the Treaty-stone
      What, dear, was said in the Assembly today?"
 "Mind your own
      business," he'd answer me growlingly
 "hold your tongue, woman, or
      else go away."
 And so I would hold it.
    
WOMEN
I'd not be silent for any man living on earth, no, not I!
MAGISTRATE
Not for a staff?
LYSISTRATA
      Well, so I did nothing but sit in the house, feeling dreary, and sigh,
      While ever arrived some fresh tale of decisions more foolish by far and
      presaging disaster.
 Then I would say to him, "O my dear husband, why
      still do they rush on
 destruction the faster?"
 At which he would
      look at me sideways, exclaiming, "Keep for your web
 and your shuttle
      your care,
 Or for some hours hence your cheeks will be sore and hot;
      leave this
 alone, war is Man's sole affair!"
    
MAGISTRATE
By Zeus, but a man of fine sense, he.
LYSISTRATA
      How sensible?
 You dotard, because he at no time had lent
 His
      intractable ears to absorb from our counsel one temperate word of
      advice, kindly meant?
 But when at the last in the streets we heard
      shouted (everywhere ringing
 the ominous cry)
 "Is there no one to
      help us, no saviour in Athens?" and, "No, there is
 no one," come back
      in reply.
 At once a convention of all wives through Hellas here for a
      serious
 purpose was held,
 To determine how husbands might yet
      back to wisdom despite their
 reluctance in time be compelled.
      Why then delay any longer? It's settled. For the future you'll take
      up our old occupation.
 Now in turn you're to hold tongue, as we did,
      and listen while we show
 the way to recover the nation.
    
MAGISTRATE
You talk to us! Why, you're mad. I'll not stand it.
LYSISTRATA
Cease babbling, you fool; till I end, hold your tongue.
MAGISTRATE
      If I should take orders from one who wears veils, may my
 neck
      straightaway be deservedly wrung.
    
LYSISTRATA
      O if that keeps pestering you,
 I've a veil here for your hair,
      I'll fit you out in everything
 As is only fair.
    
CALONICE
Here's a spindle that will do.
MYRRHINE
I'll add a wool-basket too.
LYSISTRATA
      Girdled now sit humbly at home,
 Munching beans, while you card wool
      and comb. For war from now on
 is the Women's affair.
    
WOMEN.
      Come then, down pitchers, all,
 And on, courageous of heart,
 In
      our comradely venture
 Each taking her due part.
    
      I could dance, dance, dance, and be fresher after,
 I could dance away
      numberless suns,
 To no weariness let my knees bend.
 Earth I
      could brave with laughter,
 Having such wonderful girls here to
      friend.
 O the daring, the gracious, the beautiful ones!
 Their
      courage unswerving and witty
 Will rescue our city.
    
      O sprung from the seed of most valiant-wombed grand-mothers,
 scions
      of savage and dangerous nettles!
 Prepare for the battle, all. Gird up
      your angers. Our way
 the wind of sweet victory settles.
    
LYSISTRATA
      O tender Eros and Lady of Cyprus, some flush of beauty I
 pray you
      devise
 To flash on our bosoms and, O Aphrodite, rosily gleam on
      our valorous thighs!
 Joy will raise up its head through the legions
      warring and
 all of the far-serried ranks of mad-love
 Bristle the
      earth to the pillared horizon, pointing in vain to
 the heavens above.
      I think that perhaps then they'll give us our title--
 Peace-makers.
    
MAGISTRATE
What do you mean? Please explain.
LYSISTRATA
        First, we'll not see you now flourishing arms about into the
          Marketing-place clang again.
    
      WOMEN
   No, by the Paphian.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Still I can conjure them as past were the herbs stand or crockery's sold
      Like Corybants jingling (poor sots) fully armoured, they noisily round
      on their promenade strolled.
    
MAGISTRATE
And rightly; that's discipline, they--
LYSISTRATA
      But what's sillier than to go on an errand of buying a fish
 Carrying
      along an immense. Gorgon-buckler instead the usual platter
 or dish?
      A phylarch I lately saw, mounted on horse-back, dressed for the part
      with long ringlets and all,
 Stow in his helmet the omelet bought
      steaming from an old woman who
 kept a food-stall.
 Nearby a
      soldier, a Thracian, was shaking wildly his spear like Tereus
 in the
      play,
 To frighten a fig-girl while unseen the ruffian filched from
      her
 fruit-trays the ripest away.
    
MAGISTRATE
      How, may I ask, will your rule re-establish order and justice in lands
      so tormented?
    
LYSISTRATA
Nothing is easier.
MAGISTRATE
Out with it speedily--what is this plan that you boast you've invented?
LYSISTRATA
      If, when yarn we are winding, It chances to tangle, then, as perchance you
      may know, through the skein
 This way and that still the spool we keep
      passing till it is finally clear
 all again:
 So to untangle the
      War and its errors, ambassadors out on all sides we will
 send
      This way and that, here, there and round about--soon you will find that
      the
 War has an end.
    
MAGISTRATE
      So with these trivial tricks of the household, domestic analogies of
      threads, skeins and spools,
 You think that you'll solve such a bitter
      complexity, unwind such political
 problems, you fools!
    
LYSISTRATA
      Well, first as we wash dirty wool so's to cleanse it, so with a pitiless
      zeal we will scrub
 Through the whole city for all greasy fellows;
      burrs too, the parasites,
 off we will rub.
 That verminous plague
      of insensate place-seekers soon between thumb and
 forefinger we'll
      crack.
 All who inside Athens' walls have their dwelling into one
      great common
 basket we'll pack.
 Disenfranchised or citizens,
      allies or aliens, pell-mell the lot of them
 in we will squeeze.
      Till they discover humanity's meaning.... As for disjointed and far
      colonies,
 Them you must never from this time imagine as scattered
      about just like
 lost hanks of wool.
 Each portion we'll take and
      wind in to this centre, inward to Athens
 each loyalty pull,
 Till
      from the vast heap where all's piled together at last can be woven
 a
      strong Cloak of State.
    
MAGISTRATE
      How terrible is it to stand here and watch them carding and winding at
      will with our fate,
 Witless in war as they are.
    
LYSISTRATA
      What of us then, who ever in vain for our children must weep
 Borne
      but to perish afar and in vain?
    
MAGISTRATE
Not that, O let that one memory sleep!
LYSISTRATA
      Then while we should be companioned still merrily, happy as brides may,
      the livelong night,
 Kissing youth by, we are forced to lie single....
      But leave for a moment
 our pitiful plight,
 It hurts even more to
      behold the poor maidens helpless wrinkling in
 staler virginity.
    
MAGISTRATE
Does not a man age?
LYSISTRATA
      Not in the same way. Not as a woman grows withered, grows he.
 He,
      when returned from the war, though grey-headed, yet
 if he wishes can
      choose out a wife.
 But she has no solace save peering for omens,
      wretched and
 lonely the rest of her life.
    
MAGISTRATE
But the old man will often select--
LYSISTRATA
      O why not finish and die?
 A bier is easy to buy,
 A honey-cake
      I'll knead you with joy,
 This garland will see you are decked.
    
CALONICE
I've a wreath for you too.
MYRRHINE
I also will fillet you.
LYSISTRATA
      What more is lacking? Step aboard the boat.
 See, Charon shouts ahoy.
      You're keeping him, he wants to shove afloat.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Outrageous insults! Thus my place to flout!
 Now to my
      fellow-magistrates I'll go
 And what you've perpetrated on me show.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Why are you blaming us for laying you out?
 Assure yourself we'll not
      forget to make
 The third day offering early for your sake.
    
MAGISTRATE retires, LYSISTRATA returns within.
OLD MEN.
      All men who call your loins your own, awake at last, arise
 And strip
      to stand in readiness. For as it seems to me
 Some more perilous
      offensive in their heads they now devise.
 I'm sure a Tyranny
      Like that of Hippias
 In this I detect....
 They mean to put us
      under
 Themselves I suspect,
 And that Laconians assembling
      At Cleisthenes' house have played
 A trick-of-war and provoked them
      Madly to raid
 The Treasury, in which term I include
 The Pay for
      my food.
    
      For is it not preposterous
 They should talk this way to us
 On a
      subject such as battle!
    
      And, women as they are, about bronze bucklers dare prattle--
 Make
      alliance with the Spartans--people I for one
 Like very hungry wolves
      would always most sincere shun....
 Some dirty game is up their
      sleeve,
 I believe.
 A Tyranny, no doubt... but they won't catch
      me, that know.
 Henceforth on my guard I'll go,
 A sword with
      myrtle-branches wreathed for ever in my hand,
 And under arms in the
      Public Place I'll take my watchful stand,
 Shoulder to shoulder with
      Aristogeiton. Now my staff I'll draw
 And start at once by knocking
      that shocking
 Hag upon the jaw.
    
WOMEN.
      Your own mother will not know you when you get back to the town.
 But
      first, my friends and allies, let us lay these garments down,
 And all
      ye fellow-citizens, hark to me while I tell
 What will aid Athens
      well.
 Just as is right, for I
 Have been a sharer
 In all the
      lavish splendour
 Of the proud city.
 I bore the holy vessels
      At seven, then
 I pounded barley
 At the age of ten,
 And clad
      in yellow robes,
 Soon after this,
 I was Little Bear to
      Brauronian Artemis;
 Then neckletted with figs,
 Grown tall and
      pretty,
 I was a Basket-bearer,
 And so it's obvious I should
      Give you advice that I think good,
 The very best I can.
 It
      should not prejudice my voice that I'm not born a man,
 If I say
      something advantageous to the present situation.
 For I'm taxed too,
      and as a toll provide men for the nation
 While, miserable greybeards,
      you,
 It is true,
 Contribute nothing of any importance whatever
      to our needs;
 But the treasure raised against the Medes
 You've
      squandered, and do nothing in return, save that you make
 Our lives
      and persons hazardous by some imbecile mistakes
 What can you answer?
      Now be careful, don't arouse my spite,
 Or with my slipper I'll take
      you napping,
 faces slapping
 Left and right.
    
MEN.
      What villainies they contrive!
 Come, let vengeance fall,
 You
      that below the waist are still alive,
 Off with your tunics at my
      call--
 Naked, all.
 For a man must strip to battle like a man.
      No quaking, brave steps taking, careless what's ahead, white shoed,
      in the nude, onward bold,
 All ye who garrisoned Leipsidrion of
      old....
 Let each one wag
 As youthfully as he can,
 And if he
      has the cause at heart
 Rise at least a span.
    
      We must take a stand and keep to it,
 For if we yield the smallest bit
      To their importunity.
 Then nowhere from their inroads will be left to
      us immunity.
 But they'll be building ships and soon their navies will
      attack us,
 As Artemisia did, and seek to fight us and to sack us.
      And if they mount, the Knights they'll rob
 Of a job,
 For
      everyone knows how talented they all are in the saddle,
 Having long
      practised how to straddle;
 No matter how they're jogged there up and
      down, they're never thrown.
 Then think of Myron's painting, and each
      horse-backed Amazon
 In combat hand-to-hand with men.... Come, on
      these women fall,
 And in pierced wood-collars let's stick
 quick
      The necks of one and all.
    
WOMEN.
      Don't cross me or I'll loose
 The Beast that's kennelled here....
      And soon you will be howling for a truce,
 Howling out with fear.
      But my dear,
 Strip also, that women may battle unhindered....
      But you, you'll be too sore to eat garlic more, or one black bean,
 I
      really mean, so great's my spleen, to kick you black and blue
 With
      these my dangerous legs.
 I'll hatch the lot of you,
 If my rage
      you dash on,
 The way the relentless Beetle
 Hatched the Eagle's
      eggs.
    
      Scornfully aside I set
 Every silly old-man threat
 While
      Lampito's with me.
 Or dear Ismenia, the noble Theban girl. Then let
      decree
 Be hotly piled upon decree; in vain will be your labours,
      You futile rogue abominated by your suffering neighbour
 To Hecate's
      feast I yesterday went.
 Off I sent
 To our neighbours in Boeotia,
      asking as a gift to me
 For them to pack immediately
 That darling
      dainty thing ... a good fat eel [1] I meant of course;
    
[Footnote 1:Vide supra, p. 23.]
      But they refused because some idiotic old decree's in force.
 O this
      strange passion for decrees nothing on earth can check,
 Till someone
      puts a foot out tripping you,
 and slipping you
 Break your neck.
    
 
 
LYSISTRATA enters in dismay.
WOMEN
      Dear Mistress of our martial enterprise,
 Why do you come with sorrow
      in your eyes?
    
LYSISTRATA
      O 'tis our naughty femininity,
 So weak in one spot, that hath
      saddened me.
    
WOMEN
What's this? Please speak.
LYSISTRATA
Poor women, O so weak!
WOMEN
What can it be? Surely your friends may know.
LYSISTRATA
Yea, I must speak it though it hurt me so.
WOMEN
Speak; can we help? Don't stand there mute in need.
LYSISTRATA
I'll blurt it out then--our women's army's mutinied.
WOMEN
O Zeus!
LYSISTRATA
      What use is Zeus to our anatomy?
 Here is the gaping calamity I meant:
      I cannot shut their ravenous appetites
 A moment more now. They are
      all deserting.
 The first I caught was sidling through the postern
      Close by the Cave of Pan: the next hoisting herself
 With rope and
      pulley down: a third on the point
 Of slipping past: while a fourth
      malcontent, seated
 For instant flight to visit Orsilochus
 On
      bird-back, I dragged off by the hair in time....
 They are all
      snatching excuses to sneak home.
 Look, there goes one.... Hey, what's
      the hurry?
    
1ST WOMAN
      I must get home. I've some Milesian wool
 Packed wasting away, and
      moths are pushing through it.
    
LYSISTRATA
Fine moths indeed, I know. Get back within.
1ST WOMAN
      By the Goddesses, I'll return instantly.
 I only want to stretch it on
      my bed.
    
LYSISTRATA
You shall stretch nothing and go nowhere either.
1ST WOMAN
Must I never use my wool then?
LYSISTRATA
If needs be.
2ND WOMAN
      How unfortunate I am! O my poor flax!
 It's left at home unstript.
    
LYSISTRATA
      So here's another
 That wishes to go home and strip her flax.
      Inside again!
    
2ND WOMAN
      No, by the Goddess of Light,
 I'll be back as soon as I have flayed it
      properly.
    
LYSISTRATA
      You'll not flay anything. For if you begin
 There'll not be one here
      but has a patch to be flayed.
    
3RD WOMAN
      O holy Eilithyia, stay this birth
 Till I have left the precincts of
      the place!
    
LYSISTRATA
What nonsense is this?
3RD WOMAN
I'll drop it any minute.
LYSISTRATA
Yesterday you weren't with child.
3RD WOMAN
      But I am today.
 O let me find a midwife, Lysistrata.
 O quickly!
    
LYSISTRATA
      Now what story is this you tell?
 What is this hard lump here?
    
3RD WOMAN
It's a male child.
LYSISTRATA
      By Aphrodite, it isn't. Your belly's hollow,
 And it has the feel of
      metal.... Well, I soon can see.
 You hussy, it's Athene's sacred helm,
      And you said you were with child.
    
3RD WOMAN
And so I am.
LYSISTRATA
Then why the helm?
3RD WOMAN
      So if the throes should take me
 Still in these grounds I could use it
      like a dove
 As a laying-nest in which to drop the child.
    
LYSISTRATA
      More pretexts! You can't hide your clear intent,
 And anyway why not
      wait till the tenth day
 Meditating a brazen name for your brass brat?
    
WOMAN
      And I can't sleep a wink. My nerve is gone
 Since I saw that
      snake-sentinel of the shrine.
    
WOMAN
      And all those dreadful owls with their weird hooting!
 Though I'm
      wearied out, I can't close an eye.
    
LYSISTRATA
      You wicked women, cease from juggling lies.
 You want your men. But
      what of them as well?
 They toss as sleepless in the lonely night,
      I'm sure of it. Hold out awhile, hold out,
 But persevere a
      teeny-weeny longer.
 An oracle has promised Victory
 If we don't
      wrangle. Would you hear the words?
    
WOMEN
Yes, yes, what is it?
LYSISTRATA
      Silence then, you chatterboxes.
 Here--
 Whenas the swallows
      flocking in one place from the hoopoes
 Deny themselves love's gambols
      any more,
 All woes shall then have ending and great Zeus the
      Thunderer
 Shall put above what was below before.
WOMEN
Will the men then always be kept under us?
      LYSISTRATA
 But if the swallows squabble among themselves and fly
      away
 Out of the temple, refusing to agree,
 Then The Most Wanton
      Birds in all the World
 They shall be named for ever. That's his
      decree.
WOMAN
      It's obvious what it means.
 LYSISTRATA
    
                           Now
      by all the gods
 We must let no agony deter from duty,
 Back to
      your quarters. For we are base indeed,
 My friends, if we betray the
      oracle.
    
She goes out.
OLD MEN.
      I'd like to remind you of a fable they used to employ,
 When I was a
      little boy:
 How once through fear of the marriage-bed a young man,
      Melanion by name, to the wilderness ran,
 And there on the hills he
      dwelt.
 For hares he wove a net
 Which with his dog he set--
      Most likely he's there yet.
 For he never came back home, so great was
      the fear he felt.
 I loathe the sex as much as he,
 And therefore
      I no less shall be
 As chaste as was Melanion.
    
MAN
Grann'am, do you much mind men?
WOMAN
Onions you won't need, to cry.
MAN
From my foot you shan't escape.
WOMAN
What thick forests I espy.
MEN
      So much Myronides' fierce beard
 And thundering black back were
      feared,
 That the foe fled when they were shown--
 Brave he as
      Phormion.
    
WOMEN.
      Well, I'll relate a rival fable just to show to you
 A different point
      of view:
 There was a rough-hewn fellow, Timon, with a face
 That
      glowered as through a thorn-bush in a wild, bleak place.
 He too
      decided on flight,
 This very Furies' son,
 All the world's ways
      to shun
 And hide from everyone,
 Spitting out curses on all
      knavish men to left and right.
 But though he reared this hate for
      men,
 He loved the women even then,
 And never thought them
      enemies.
    
WOMAN
O your jaw I'd like to break.
MAN
That I fear do you suppose?
WOMAN
Learn what kicks my legs can make.
MAN
Raise them up, and you'll expose--
 
 
WOMAN
      Nay, you'll see there, I engage,
 All is well kept despite my age,
      And tended smooth enough to slip
 From any adversary's grip.
    
LYSISTRATA appears.
 
 
LYSISTRATA
      Hollo there, hasten hither to me
 Skip fast along.
    
WOMAN
What is this? Why the noise?
LYSISTRATA
      A man, a man! I spy a frenzied man!
 He carries Love upon him like a
      staff.
 O Lady of Cyprus, and Cythera, and Paphos,
 I beseech you,
      keep our minds and hands to the oath.
    
 
 
WOMAN
Where is he, whoever he is?
LYSISTRATA
By the Temple of Chloe.
WOMAN
Yes, now I see him, but who can he be?
LYSISTRATA
Look at him. Does anyone recognise his face?
MYRRHINE
I do. He is my husband, Cinesias.
LYSISTRATA
      You know how to work. Play with him, lead him on,
 Seduce him to the
      cozening-point--kiss him, kiss him,
 Then slip your mouth aside just
      as he's sure of it,
 Ungirdle every caress his mouth feels at
      Save that the oath upon the bowl has locked.
    
MYRRHINE
You can rely on me.
LYSISTRATA
      I'll stay here to help
 In working up his ardor to its height
 Of
      vain magnificence.... The rest to their quarters.
    
Enter CINESIAS.
Who is this that stands within our lines?
CINESIAS
I.
LYSISTRATA
A man?
CINESIAS
Too much a man!
LYSISTRATA
Then be off at once.
CINESIAS
Who are you that thus eject me?
LYSISTRATA
Guard for the day.
CINESIAS
By all the gods, then call Myrrhine hither.
LYSISTRATA
So, call Myrrhine hither! Who are you?
CINESIAS
I am her husband Cinesias, son of Anthros.
LYSISTRATA
      Welcome, dear friend! That glorious name of yours
 Is quite familiar
      in our ranks. Your wife
 Continually has it in her mouth.
 She
      cannot touch an apple or an egg
 But she must say, "This to Cinesias!"
    
CINESIAS
O is that true?
LYSISTRATA
      By Aphrodite, it is.
 If the conversation strikes on men, your wife
      Cuts in with, "All are boobies by Cinesias."
    
CINESIAS
Then call her here.
LYSISTRATA
And what am I to get?
CINESIAS
      This, if you want it.... See, what I have here.
 But not to take away.
    
LYSISTRATA
Then I'll call her.
CINESIAS
      Be quick, be quick. All grace is wiped from life
 Since she went away.
      O sad, sad am I
 When there I enter on that loneliness,
 And wine
      is unvintaged of the sun's flavour.
 And food is tasteless. But I've
      put on weight.
    
MYRRHINE (above)
      I love him O so much! but he won't have it.
 Don't call me down to
      him.
    
CINESIAS
      Sweet little Myrrhine!
 What do you mean? Come here.
    
MYRRHINE
      O no I won't.
 Why are you calling me? You don't want me.
    
CINESIAS
Not want you! with this week-old strength of love.
MYRRHINE
Farewell.
CINESIAS
      Don't go, please don't go, Myrrhine.
 At least you'll hear our child.
      Call your mother, lad.
    
CHILD
Mummy ... mummy ... mummy!
CINESIAS
      There now, don't you feel pity for the child?
 He's not been fed or
      washed now for six days.
    
MYRRHINE
I certainly pity him with so heartless a father.
CINESIAS
Come down, my sweetest, come for the child's sake.
MYRRHINE
      A trying life it is to be a mother!
 I suppose I'd better go.             She
      comes down.
CINESIAS
      How much younger she looks,
 How fresher and how prettier! Myrrhine,
      Lift up your lovely face, your disdainful face;
 And your ankle ...
      let your scorn step out its worst;
 It only rubs me to more ardor
      here.
    
MYRRHINE (playing with the child)
      You're as innocent as he's iniquitous.
 Let me kiss you,
      honey-petting, mother's darling.
    
CINESIAS
      How wrong to follow other women's counsel
 And let loose all these
      throbbing voids in yourself
 As well as in me. Don't you go
      throb-throb?
    
MYRRHINE
Take away your hands.
CINESIAS
      Everything in the house
 Is being ruined.
    
MYRRHINE
I don't care at all.
CINESIAS
      The roosters are picking all your web to rags.
 Do you mind that?
    
MYRRHINE
Not I.
CINESIAS
      What time we've wasted
 We might have drenched with Paphian laughter,
      flung
 On Aphrodite's Mysteries. O come here.
    
MYRRHINE
Not till a treaty finishes the war.
CINESIAS
If you must have it, then we'll get it done.
MYRRHINE
Do it and I'll come home. Till then I am bound.
CINESIAS
Well, can't your oath perhaps be got around?
MYRRHINE
No ... no ... still I'll not say that I don't love you.
CINESIAS
You love me! Then dear girl, let me also love you.
MYRRHINE
You must be joking. The boy's looking on.
CINESIAS
      Here, Manes, take the child home!... There, he's gone.
 There's
      nothing in the way now. Come to the point.
    
MYRRHINE
Here in the open! In plain sight?
CINESIAS
      In Pan's cave.
 A splendid place.
    
MYRRHINE
      Where shall I dress my hair again
 Before returning to the citadel?
    
CINESIAS
You can easily primp yourself in the Clepsydra.
MYRRHINE
But how can I break my oath?
CINESIAS
      Leave that to me,
 I'll take all risk.
    
MYRRHINE
Well, I'll make you comfortable.
CINESIAS
Don't worry. I'd as soon lie on the grass.
MYRRHINE
      No, by Apollo, in spite of all your faults
 I won't have you lying on
      the nasty earth.
 (From here MYRRHINE keeps on going off to fetch
      things.)
    
CINESIAS
Ah, how she loves me.
MYRRHINE
      Rest there on the bench,
 While I arrange my clothes. O what a
      nuisance,
 I must find some cushions first.
    
CINESIAS
      Why some cushions?
 Please don't get them!
    
 
 
MYRRHINE
      What? The plain, hard wood?
 Never, by Artemis! That would be too
      vulgar.
    
CINESIAS
Open your arms!
MYRRHINE
No. Wait a second.
CINESIAS
      O....
 Then hurry back again.
    
MYRRHINE
      Here the cushions are.
 Lie down while I--O dear! But what a shame,
      You need more pillows.
    
CINESIAS
I don't want them, dear.
MYRRHINE
But I do.
CINESIAS
      Thwarted affection mine,
 They treat you just like Heracles at a feast
      With cheats of dainties, O disappointing arms!
    
MYRRHINE
Raise up your head.
CINESIAS
There, that's everything at last.
MYRRHINE
Yes, all.
CINESIAS
Then run to my arms, you golden girl.
MYRRHINE
      I'm loosening my girdle now. But you've not forgotten?
 You're not
      deceiving me about the Treaty?
    
CINESIAS
No, by my life, I'm not.
MYRRHINE
Why, you've no blanket.
CINESIAS
It's not the silly blanket's warmth but yours I want.
MYRRHINE
Never mind. You'll soon have both. I'll come straight back.
CINESIAS
The woman will choke me with her coverlets.
MYRRHINE
Get up a moment.
CINESIAS
I'm up high enough.
MYRRHINE
Would you like me to perfume you?
CINESIAS
By Apollo, no!
MYRRHINE
By Aphrodite, I'll do it anyway.
CINESIAS
Lord Zeus, may she soon use up all the myrrh.
MYRRHINE
Stretch out your hand. Take it and rub it in.
CINESIAS
      Hmm, it's not as fragrant as might be; that is,
 Not before it's
      smeared. It doesn't smell of kisses.
    
MYRRHINE
How silly I am: I've brought you Rhodian scents.
CINESIAS
It's good enough, leave it, love.
MYRRHINE
You must be jesting.
CINESIAS
Plague rack the man who first compounded scent!
MYRRHINE
Here, take this flask.
CINESIAS
      I've a far better one.
 Don't tease me, come here, and get nothing
      more.
    
MYRRHINE
      I'm coming.... I'm just drawing off my shoes....
 You're sure you will
      vote for Peace?
    
CINESIAS
      I'll think about it.
 She runs off.
 I'm dead: the woman's
      worn me all away.
 She's gone and left me with an anguished pulse.
    
MEN
      Baulked in your amorous delight
 How melancholy is your plight.
      With sympathy your case I view;
 For I am sure it's hard on you.
      What human being could sustain
 This unforeseen domestic strain,
      And not a single trace
 Of willing women in the place!
    
 
 
CINESIAS
O Zeus, what throbbing suffering!
MEN
      She did it all, the harlot, she
 With her atrocious harlotry.
    
WOMEN
Nay, rather call her darling-sweet.
MEN
What, sweet? She's a rude, wicked thing.
CINESIAS
      A wicked thing, as I repeat.
 O Zeus, O Zeus,
 Canst Thou not
      suddenly let loose
 Some twirling hurricane to tear
 Her flapping
      up along the air
 And drop her, when she's whirled around,
 Here
      to the ground
 Neatly impaled upon the stake
 That's ready upright
      for her sake.
 He goes out.
 
Enter SPARTAN HERALD.
The MAGISTRATE comes forward.
HERALD
      What here gabs the Senate an' the Prytanes?
 I've fetcht despatches
      for them.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Are you a man
 Or a monstrosity?
    
HERALD
      My scrimp-brained lad,
 I'm a herald, as ye see, who hae come frae
      Sparta
 Anent a Peace.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Then why do you hide that lance
 That sticks out under your arms?
    
HERALD.
I've brought no lance.
MAGISTRATE
      Then why do you turn aside and hold your cloak
 So far out from your
      body? Is your groin swollen
 With stress of travelling?
    
HERALD
      By Castor, I'll swear
 The man is wud.
    
MAGISTRATE
      Indeed, your cloak is wide,
 My rascal fellow.
    
HERALD
      But I tell ye No!
 Enow o' fleering!
    
MAGISTRATE
Well, what is it then?
HERALD
It's my despatch cane.
MAGISTRATE
      Of course--a Spartan cane!
 But speak right out. I know all this too
      well.
 Are new privations springing up in Sparta?
    
HERALD
      Och, hard as could be: in lofty lusty columns
 Our allies stand
      united. We maun get Pellene.
    
MAGISTRATE
Whence has this evil come? Is it from Pan?
HERALD
      No. Lampito first ran asklent, then the others
 Sprinted after her
      example, and blocked, the hizzies,
 Their wames unskaithed against our
      every fleech.
    
MAGISTRATE
What did you do?
HERALD
      We are broken, and bent double,
 Limp like men carrying lanthorns in
      great winds
 About the city. They winna let us even
 Wi' lightest
      neif skim their primsie pretties
 Till we've concluded Peace-terms wi'
      a' Hellas.
    
MAGISTRATE
      So the conspiracy is universal;
 This proves it. Then return to
      Sparta. Bid them
 Send envoys with full powers to treat of Peace;
      And I will urge the Senate here to choose
 Plenipotentiary
      ambassadors,
 As argument adducing this connection.
    
HERALD
      I'm off. Your wisdom none could contravert.
 They retire.
MEN
      There is no beast, no rush of fire, like woman so untamed.
 She calmly
      goes her way where even panthers would be shamed.
    
WOMEN
      And yet you are fool enough, it seems, to dare to war with me,
 When
      for your faithful ally you might win me easily.
    
MEN
Never could the hate I feel for womankind grow less.
WOMEN
      Then have your will. But I'll take pity on your nakedness.
 For I can
      see just how ridiculous you look, and so
 Will help you with your
      tunic if close up I now may go.
    
MEN
      Well, that, by Zeus, is no scoundrel-deed, I frankly will admit.
 I
      only took them off myself in a scoundrel raging-fit.
    
WOMEN
      Now you look sensible, and that you're men no one could doubt.
 If you
      were but good friends again, I'd take the insect out
 That hurts your
      eye.
    
MEN
      Is that what's wrong? That nasty bitie thing.
 Please squeeze it out,
      and show me what it is that makes this sting.
 It's been paining me a
      long while now.
    
WOMEN
      Well I'll agree to that,
 Although you're most unmannerly. O what a
      giant gnat.
 Here, look! It comes from marshy Tricorysus, I can tell.
    
MEN
      O thank you. It was digging out a veritable well.
 Now that it's gone,
      I can't hold back my tears. See how they fall.
    
WOMEN
I'll wipe them off, bad as you are, and kiss you after all.
MEN
I won't be kissed.
WOMEN
O yes, you will. Your wishes do not matter.
MEN
      O botheration take you all! How you cajole and flatter.
 A hell it is
      to live with you; to live without, a hell:
 How truly was that said.
      But come, these enmities let's quell.
 You stop from giving orders and
      I'll stop from doing wrong.
 So let's join ranks and seal our bargain
      with a choric song.
    
CHORUS.
      Athenians, it's not our intention
 To sow political dissension
 By
      giving any scandal mention;
 But on the contrary to promote good
      feeling in the state
 By word and deed. We've had enough calamities of
      late.
 So let a man or woman but divulge
 They need a trifle, say,
      Two minas, three or four,
 I've purses here that bulge.
 There's
      only one condition made
 (Indulge my whim in this I pray)--
 When
      Peace is signed once more,
 On no account am I to be repaid.
    
      And I'm making preparation
 For a gay select collation
 With some
      youths of reputation.
 I've managed to produce some soup and they're
      slaughtering for me
 A sucking-pig: its flesh should taste as tender
      as could be.
 I shall expect you at my house today.
 To the baths
      make an early visit,
 And bring your children along;
 Don't dawdle
      on the way.
 Ask no one; enter as if the place
 Was all your
      own--yours henceforth is it.
 If nothing chances wrong,
 The door
      will then be shut bang in your face.
    
The SPARTAN AMBASSADORS approach.
CHORUS
      Here come the Spartan envoys with long, worried beards.
 Hail,
      Spartans how do you fare?
 Did anything new arise?
    
SPARTANS
No need for a clutter o' words. Do ye see our condition?
CHORUS
      The situation swells to greater tension.
 Something will explode soon.
    
SPARTANS
      It's awfu' truly.
 But come, let us wi' the best speed we may
      Scribble a Peace.
    
CHORUS
      I notice that our men
 Like wrestlers poised for contest, hold their
      clothes
 Out from their bellies. An athlete's malady!
 Since
      exercise alone can bring relief.
    
ATHENIANS
      Can anyone tell us where Lysistrata is?
 There is no need to describe
      our men's condition,
 It shows up plainly enough.
    
CHORUS
      It's the same disease.
 Do you feel a jerking throbbing in the
      morning?
    
ATHENIANS
      By Zeus, yes! In these straits, I'm racked all through.
 Unless Peace
      is soon declared, we shall be driven
 In the void of women to try
      Cleisthenes.
    
CHORUS
      Be wise and cover those things with your tunics.
 Who knows what kind
      of person may perceive you?
    
ATHENIANS
By Zeus, you're right.
SPARTANS
      By the Twa Goddesses,
 Indeed ye are. Let's put our tunics on.
    
ATHENIANS
Hail O my fellow-sufferers, hail Spartans.
SPARTANS
      O hinnie darling, what a waefu' thing!
 If they had seen us wi' our
      lunging waddies!
    
ATHENIANS
Tell us then, Spartans, what has brought you here?
SPARTANS
We come to treat o' Peace.
ATHENIANS
      Well spoken there!
 And we the same. Let us callout Lysistrata
      Since she alone can settle the Peace-terms.
    
SPARTANS
Callout Lysistratus too if ye don't mind.
CHORUS
No indeed. She hears your voices and she comes.
Enter LYSISTRATA
      Hail, Wonder of all women! Now you must be in turn
 Hard, shifting,
      clear, deceitful, noble, crafty, sweet, and stern.
 The foremost men
      of Hellas, smitten by your fascination,
 Have brought their tangled
      quarrels here for your sole arbitration.
    
LYSISTRATA
      An easy task if the love's raging home-sickness
 Doesn't start trying
      out how well each other
 Will serve instead of us. But I'll know at
      once
 If they do. O where's that girl, Reconciliation?
 Bring
      first before me the Spartan delegates,
 And see you lift no rude or
      violent hands--
 None of the churlish ways our husbands used.
 But
      lead them courteously, as women should.
 And if they grudge fingers,
      guide them by other methods,
 And introduce them with ready tact. The
      Athenians
 Draw by whatever offers you a grip.
 Now, Spartans,
      stay here facing me. Here you,
 Athenians. Both hearken to my words.
      I am a woman, but I'm not a fool.
 And what of natural intelligence I
      own
 Has been filled out with the remembered precepts
 My father
      and the city-elders taught me.
 First I reproach you both sides
      equally
 That when at Pylae and Olympia,
 At Pytho and the many
      other shrines
 That I could name, you sprinkle from one cup
 The
      altars common to all Hellenes, yet
 You wrack Hellenic cities, bloody
      Hellas
 With deaths of her own sons, while yonder clangs
 The
      gathering menace of barbarians.
    
ATHENIANS
We cannot hold it in much longer now.
LYSISTRATA
      Now unto you, O Spartans, do I speak.
 Do you forget how your own
      countryman,
 Pericleidas, once came hither suppliant
 Before our
      altars, pale in his purple robes,
 Praying for an army when in
      Messenia
 Danger growled, and the Sea-god made earth quaver.
 Then
      with four thousand hoplites Cimon marched
 And saved all Sparta. Yet
      base ingrates now,
 You are ravaging the soil of your preservers.
    
ATHENIANS
By Zeus, they do great wrong, Lysistrata.
SPARTANS
Great wrong, indeed. O! What a luscious wench!
LYSISTRATA
      And now I turn to the Athenians.
 Have you forgotten too how once the
      Spartans
 In days when you wore slavish tunics, came
 And with
      their spears broke a Thessalian host
 And all the partisans of
      Hippias?
 They alone stood by your shoulder on that day.
 They
      freed you, so that for the slave's short skirt
 You should wear the
      trailing cloak of liberty.
    
SPARTANS
I've never seen a nobler woman anywhere.
ATHENIANS
Nor I one with such prettily jointing hips.
LYSISTRATA
      Now, brethren twined with mutual benefactions,
 Can you still war, can
      you suffer such disgrace?
 Why not be friends? What is there to
      prevent you?
    
SPARTANS
We're agreed, gin that we get this tempting Mole.
LYSISTRATA
Which one?
SPARTANS
      That ane we've wanted to get into,
 O for sae lang.... Pylos, of
      course.
    
ATHENIANS
      By Poseidon,
 Never!
    
LYSISTRATA
Give it up.
ATHENIANS
      Then what will we do?
 We need that ticklish place united to us--
    
LYSISTRATA
Ask for some other lurking-hole in return.
ATHENIANS
      Then, ah, we'll choose this snug thing here, Echinus,
 Shall we call
      the nestling spot? And this backside haven,
 These desirable twin
      promontories, the Maliac,
 And then of course these Megarean Legs.
    
SPARTANS
Not that, O surely not that, never that.
LYSISTRATA
Agree! Now what are two legs more or less?
ATHENIANS
I want to strip at once and plough my land.
SPARTANS
And mine I want to fertilize at once.
LYSISTRATA
      And so you can, when Peace is once declared.
 If you mean it, get your
      allies' heads together
 And come to some decision.
    
ATHENIANS
      What allies?
 There's no distinction in our politics:
 We've risen
      as one man to this conclusion;
 Every ally is jumping-mad to drive it
      home.
    
SPARTANS
And ours the same, for sure.
ATHENIANS
      The Carystians first!
 I'll bet on that.
    
LYSISTRATA
      I agree with all of you.
 Now off, and cleanse yourselves for the
      Acropolis,
 For we invite you all in to a supper
 From our
      commissariat baskets. There at table
 You will pledge good behaviour
      and uprightness;
 Then each man's wife is his to hustle home.
    
ATHENIANS
Come, as quickly as possible.
SPARTANS
      As quick as ye like.
 Lead on.
    
ATHENIANS
      O Zeus, quick, quick, lead quickly on.
 They hurry off.
CHORUS.
      Broidered stuffs on high I'm heaping,
 Fashionable cloaks and sweeping
      Trains, not even gold gawds keeping.
 Take them all, I pray you, take
      them all (I do not care)
 And deck your children--your daughter, if
      the Basket she's to bear.
 Come, everyone of you, come in and take
      Of this rich hoard a share.
 Nought's tied so skilfully
 But you
      its seal can break
 And plunder all you spy inside.
 I've laid out
      all that I can spare,
 And therefore you will see
 Nothing unless
      than I you're sharper-eyed.
 If lacking corn a man should be
      While his slaves clamour hungrily
 And his excessive progeny,
      Then I've a handfull of grain at home which is always to be had,
 And
      to which in fact a more-than-life-size loaf I'd gladly add.
 
      Then let the poor bring with them bag or sack
 And take this store of
      food.
 Manes, my man, I'll tell
 To help them all to pack
      Their wallets full. But O take care.
 I had forgotten; don't intrude,
      Or terrified you'll yell.
 My dog is hungry too, and bites--beware!
    
 
Some LOUNGERS from the Market with torches approach
 the
      Banqueting hall. The PORTER bars their entrance.
1ST MARKET-LOUNGER
Open the door.
PORTER
Here move along.
1ST MARKET-LOUNGER
      What's this?
 You're sitting down. Shall I singe you with my torch?
      That's vulgar! O I couldn't do it ... yet
 If it would gratify the
      audience,
 I'll mortify myself.
    
2ND MARKET-LOUNGER
      And I will too.
 We'll both be crude and vulgar, yes we will.
    
PORTER
      Be off at once now or you'll be wailing
 Dirges for your hair. Get off
      at once,
 And see you don't disturb the Spartan envoys
 Just
      coming out from the splendid feast they've had.
    
The banqueters begin to come out.
1ST ATHENIAN
      I've never known such a pleasant banquet before,
 And what delightful
      fellows the Spartans are.
 When we are warm with wine, how wise we
      grow.
    
2ND ATHENIAN
      That's only fair, since sober we're such fools:
 This is the advice
      I'd give the Athenians--
 See our ambassadors are always drunk.
      For when we visit Sparta sober, then
 We're on the alert for trickery
      all the while
 So that we miss half of the things they say,
 And
      misinterpret things that were never said,
 And then report the muddle
      back to Athens.
 But now we're charmed with each other. They might cap
      With the Telamon-catch instead of the Cleitagora,
 And we'd applaud
      and praise them just the same;
 We're not too scrupulous in weighing
      words.
    
PORTER
      Why, here the rascals come again to plague me.
 Won't you move on, you
      sorry loafers there!
    
MARKET-LOUNGER
Yes, by Zeus, they're already coming out.
SPARTANS
      Now hinnie dearest, please tak' up your pipe
 That I may try a spring
      an' sing my best
 In honour o' the Athenians an' oursels.
    
ATHENIANS
      Aye, take your pipe. By all the gods, there's nothing
 Could glad my
      heart more than to watch you dance.
    
SPARTANS.
      Mnemosyne,
 Let thy fire storm these younkers,
 O tongue wi'
      stormy ecstasy
 My Muse that knows
 Our deeds and theirs, how when
      at sea
 Their navies swooped upon
 The Medes at Artemision--
      Gods for their courage, did they strike
 Wrenching a triumph frae
      their foes;
 While at Thermopylae
 Leonidas' army stood:
      wild-boars they were like
 Wild-boars that wi' fierce threat
      Their terrible tusks whet;
 The sweat ran streaming down each twisted
      face,
 Faen blossoming i' strange petals o' death
 Panted frae
      mortal breath,
 The sweat drenched a' their bodies i' that place,
      For the hurly-burly o' Persians glittered more
 Than the sands on the
      shore.
    
      Come, Hunting Girl, an' hear my prayer--
 You whose arrows whizz in
      woodlands, come an' bless
 This Peace we swear.
 Let us be fenced
      wi' age long amity,
 O let this bond stick ever firm through thee
      In friendly happiness.
 Henceforth no guilefu' perjury be seen!
 O
      hither, hither O
 Thou wildwood queen.
    
LYSISTRATA
      Earth is delighted now, peace is the voice of earth.
 Spartans, sort
      out your wives: Athenians, yours.
 Let each catch hands with his wife
      and dance his joy,
 Dance out his thanks, be grateful in music,
      And promise reformation with his heels.
    
ATHENIANS.
      O Dancers, forward. Lead out the Graces,
 Call Artemis out;
 Then
      her brother, the Dancer of Skies,
 That gracious Apollo.
 Invoke
      with a shout
 Dionysus out of whose eyes
 Breaks fire on the
      maenads that follow;
 And Zeus with his flares of quick lightning, and
      call,
 Happy Hera, Queen of all,
 And all the Daimons summon
      hither to be
 Witnesses of our revelry
 And of the noble Peace we
      have made,
 Aphrodite our aid.
 
      Io Paieon, Io, cry--
 For victory, leap!
 Attained by me, leap!
      Euoi Euoi Euai Euai.
    
SPARTANS
Piper, gie us the music for a new sang.
SPARTANS.
      Leaving again lovely lofty Taygetus
 Hither O Spartan Muse, hither to
      greet us,
 And wi' our choric voice to raise
 To Amyclean Apollo
      praise,
 And Tyndareus' gallant sons whose days
 Alang Eurotas'
      banks merrily pass,
 An' Athene o' the House o' Brass.
    
      Now the dance begin;
 Dance, making swirl your fringe o' woolly skin,
      While we join voices
 To hymn dear Sparta that rejoices
 I' a
      beautifu' sang,
 An' loves to see
 Dancers tangled beautifully;
      For the girls i' tumbled ranks
 Alang Eurotas' banks
 Like wanton
      fillies thrang,
 Frolicking there
 
      An' like Bacchantes shaking the wild air
 To comb a giddy laughter
      through the hair,
 Bacchantes that clench thyrsi as they sweep
 To
      the ecstatic leap.
    
      An' Helen, Child o' Leda, come
 Thou holy, nimble, gracefu' Queen,
      Lead thou the dance, gather thy joyous tresses up i' bands
 An' play
      like a fawn. To madden them, clap thy hands,
 And sing praise to the
      warrior goddess templed i' our lands,
 Her o' the House o' Brass.